Freelance Without Filters Issue #2

🎶 R – E – S – P – E – C – T… Take care of TCB! 🎶

No matter who you are, respect—getting it, giving it, and earning it—is a big part of human life here on earth.

And yet… I also feel like it’s this really mysterious, intangible idea for a lot of people. 🤔

Whether you have ADHD or not, whether you’re actively freelancing right now or not, getting the respect you deserve is something I see damn near everyone struggle with.

Even famous people like the late great Aretha Franklin. Her iconic version of the song Respect wasn’t just a catchy tune—it came from a desire to give voice to the needs of people who felt overlooked or unappreciated.

And I think I’m preaching to the choir when I say that mission is especially important right now. ❤️‍🩹

Can we make the Trumpster Fire and his stooges respect aaaaaaaallllll of the people and groups they’ve trampled on, effective immediately? No. Not as far as I’ve thought of, anyway.

What we can do is find a way to create space for respect in our day-to-day lives.

As a freelance writer, for me, that looks like following these rules:

🤓Own your expertise.
Don't downplay your knowledge or apologize for your rates. When you speak about your work, use confident, authoritative language: "Based on my research into your market, I recommend..." rather than "Maybe we could try..."

📋Create structured processes.
Having clear onboarding documents, contracts with specific deliverables, and a professional meeting agenda signals that you run a real business, not a hobby.

💰Price by project, not hourly.
When you charge hourly, clients often (subconsciously) see you as an employee and want to know how you spend every single second. Project-based pricing positions you as a solution provider. If a client insists on hourly, that's often a red flag they'll drain your time.

🧑‍💻Work in a dedicated workspace.
If possible! Even a room divider or small desk in a quieter corner can help signal "this is a professional at work" to both family and clients on video calls.

And as an ADHD woman trying to balance my family’s needs with my work, it also looks like following these rules:

🎧Create visual cues.
A "Do Not Disturb" sign or wearing headphones (even if not listening to anything) as a visual signal that you're in work mode.

💬Have direct conversations.
"When I'm at my desk during working hours, I need to be treated as if I've gone to an office. I love chatting with you, but interruptions make it hard for me to deliver quality work to clients who are paying for my time, and I can’t fully be present with you. That’s not fair to anyone."

⏰Set specific break times.
Let family know when you'll be available - "I'll take a 15-minute break at 11:30 if you want to chat then." Or, “I can go to Costco with you tomorrow afternoon or Friday morning. Otherwise, you’re flying solo."

Basically, sometimes, we have to remind the people in our lives that respect is a two-way street. You have to give it to get it, and vice versa. The key is to communicate what respect looks like to you and hold those boundaries firmly.

Above all, remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day.

New habits take time and all that jazz.

Respect the fact that change is a process, not one thing you check off your to-do list. (See what I did there? Hehe)

Need to vent about some disrespect you’re dealing with? I’m no therapist but I do have lots of ideas! Just hit Reply if you have a grievance to air. I’ll read it, shake my fist at the sky with you, and help you find a productive path forward.

To fist-shaking and solution-finding,
Shelby

P.S. “Take care of TCB” in the song Respect means, “Take care of Takin’ Care of Business.” Said another way, when the going gets tough, the tough get going! You got this! 💪